A lot has been going on the last month, with family, school, and trips. I have not had time to blog and feel like I have a million things to vent about and thank goodness I have a blog to help me do that. I wanted to share this quote this week, it felt very appropriate for how I am feeling with some family members.
Growing up my family was very close, I am talking about immediate family but aunts, uncles, and cousins. We would all get together for birthdays, holidays and just in general. It was nice because my mom had 5 other siblings and they all had kids, so it made for a large get together when we were all together. It was great especially for us cousins, it was like having more siblings and we were all very close. Those were such great times, and I miss them.
Then in my teenager years it slowly began to fall apart. It started after a family quarrel not long after my grandfather died, we all have those bad apples and jealous family members that like to stir the pot. For whatever reason those members decided to really stir the pot, they are the type that if they are miserable then everyone else should be also. It’s unfortunate because it really broke our family apart, not only did I have aunts and uncles not speaking to their siblings anymore. It tore the cousins apart and really felt like our family was no longer the same. These members of the family went on for about 10 years of not speaking. I became extremely disappointed in my cousins who’s parents had made this decision to not speak to the rest of us, most of them were adults and could have been mature enough to speak to the family or at least their grandmother.
Still there were some of us who manager to hold pieces of the family together, but its because we all had always made the effort to. Even that has change some what, which is partly due to us getting our own families now. Also I truly believe technology has had an effect on the family dynamic as well.
I believe that just as social media is tearing apart our ability to communicate with people in general, its also making it to where families are less inclined to socialize with each other. We have forgotten how to communicate and the importance of family, and we are teaching our children that.
In recent years some of those family members have tried to reunite with the family, which I am glad for my Grandmother who has been hoping for that. However, even though they come around once in a blue moon they still seem to have no interest in actually getting to know any of us again. It’s like being at a gathering with perfect strangers.
I have tried recently to invite my cousins and their children to family gathering such as birthday and holiday parties, so at least we may have a chance to get to know each other and that our children may enjoy having cousins and the joy we had as children. Unfortunately this has failed, my cousins do not seem to reciprocate my feelings for reuniting this family. They let their kids dictate what they get to do, such as going out with friends instead. As children our parents did not give us that option, and not in a mean way. It was to teach us that our family comes first, and I am sadden that most of my family did not learn that lesson and have become very selfish. I am even more sadden that my son who is basically an only child will not get those memories and will not know his cousins and have that closeness with our family.
I am sure this may upset some family members by me coming out and saying this but honestly I do not care. The ones who have made the effort know who they are, the ones who have not should feel bad if they truly care. Maybe one day they will realize and this will start a thought process of us trying to bring this family back to what it was.
It has made me more appreciative of my friends though, we have some amazing groups of friends that we do a lot of fun things with. They have become more like family than some of my actual family members, and just goes to show you that blood does not make you family its how treat one another.
Thanks for listening and letting me get this all out, it definitely feels good.