Oh, the conversations with kids

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As any parent knows, you get asked some awkward questions by your children as they are growing up. Mostly we get our selves into this situations and are unprepared how to answer our kids, especially when they pipe up and ask you about something you said thinking your child was not listening. Yes this has happened a time or two in our house, and my husband and I usually manage to change the subject very quickly. Unless of course its something that truly needs to be explained.

Recently my son has been asking for a sibling, he really wants a little sister. We have told him a few times that unfortunately we will not be having any more kids. He brought it up again recently and asked me if I could get a baby in my tummy he really wants a little brother or sister. Well here is how the conversation went.

Me: sorry I can’t have any more babies
Madman: so how come you could only make one baby?
Me: well the things that make a baby don’t work anymore.(Really at this point I should have sent it over to my husband since its his parts that are no longer in service but I didn’t think I wanted to get to detailed on the birds and the bees yet)
Madman: what parts? Are there wires inside you? So you cut the blue wire and had me? Then there were no more wires?
Me: yes exactly no more wires (At this point I am trying not to die laughing at how he is explaining it)
Madman: so is there a pink wire for the girl you can cut?
Me: ah, no there’s no more
Madman: can I see? Where are the wires? Are they in your butt?

At his point I can barely compose myself from what my son has just said so I passed it off to my husband and told him to take over. He just said sorry there are no more wires and there won’t be anymore babies and my son just dropped it after that. What the heck? Why did I get the inquisition and not my husband? Oh well it was quite amusing but it definitely makes me scared to have to the sex talk with my son. I think I’ll leave that one to my husband when the time comes.

Have any funny stories about things yours kids have asked you, I would love to hear them! So please feel free to share below or maybe you have your own blog post you need to write.

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Dynamics of being Volunteer Mom at School

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My son started Kindergarten this year, which was a hard adjustment for me getting used to my baby going to school. During school sign ups I signed up for the PTA (Parent Teacher Association), classroom volunteer, and Room Mother. I have mixed feeling about public school in the state I live in and we are not known for having the best education, so I decided I wanted to be as involved at the school as I could so I could better understand the needs of our children at school.

Well I was chosen to be Room Mother for my son’s Kindergarten class, which I am very excited about. Although after meeting with my son’s teacher I had no idea what I had really gotten myself into. I thought the Room moms where in charge of planning all the fun activities like Halloween parties. Nope, there is more you have to coordinate parent volunteers to come in and help with reading groups and other educational activities as well as working with the kids. You are basically a teacher’s aide with no pay. Not that it’s a bad thing don’t get me wrong, and I have actually been enjoying helping out in the classroom.

I have also been learning about the mom clicks that exist in the school, it’s almost as if I’m back in High School again. It’s almost amusing to watch at times that even as adults this dynamic of clicks still exists.

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I’m sure its different state to state but as you know I am from Utah and most people are LDS here, and the first question most people ask you who are from Utah is “What ward are you in?” or “Where did you serve your mission?”. I’m sure some of you are googling what I am even talking about right now, but growing up here my entire life it’s a question I have grown tired of and wonder if people from Utah know how to start a conversation any other way when they first meet you.

My point to that long explanation is that here there is a click dynamic based on religion, all the Mom volunteers all know each other well and it’s not due to their children going to the same school. It’s because they all go to the same church (ward). They very much stick to their click and so far from what I have experience barely speak to you. I definitely feel like the odd man out at the volunteer meetings and planning sessions.

Not that I care to be in the “It” crowd, but as an adult I would hope there is more to life than only being able to speak to the people who go to the same church as you or being able to have a conversation that involves something other than what has been going on at church.

Then there is the “uncool” mom crowd (this does not literally mean we are not cool or great moms we just don’t fit the “It” crowd stereotype here), which is where I fit at this time we are the ones who do not go to church and get the judgmental looks. I especially love after they ask me what ward we are in and I tell them “We are not LDS”. That pretty much ends the conversation with that mom, they only again talk to you if they have to in regards to something about the school for the meeting.

So far I have felt like a third wheel at most meeting and the events I have volunteered at, but I am outgoing so I pretty much just put myself out there and I am not afraid to ask questions. I am there for the kids not to be part of a click or there for social hour so it’s not a big deal.

 

I just hope that as I begin to learn these school mom dynamics that this will change throughout the year. I am all for the positive women movements that are being pushed for and for us to stop judging and shaming each other, and the need to put a stop to the clicks that are still going on in our adult lives.

I am not really sure how to affect it in the school mom dynamic other than I am friendly to everyone and do not judge them for doing what they do and believing what they believe. So I guess that is a start right?

Your overwhelmed,

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Tips to Planning a successful kids birthday party

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I love party planning, maybe one day I’ll make a profession of it. I’ve enjoyed it more so now having my own child. My son’s birthday is a little over a month a way so the planning process has begun. Yes I’m sure some of you are saying “It’s a month away that’s more than enough time, why are you starting so early?”
Well it’s really never to early to start party planning, and here is why:

Theme: Start out by coming up with the theme for your child’s party, if they are old enough they can choose. We started this process a few weeks ago and my son chose Jurassic World (I have no idea why I won’t let him see the movie he is too young).

This was last years theme Lego Movie, which by the way not one ounce of party stuff for this had to make all my own.

lego party

 

Cost: If you start planning in advance you can buy bits and pieces for the party a little at a time so you do not have to stress over throwing down a big chunk of change all at once.

Venues: Depending on were you choose to have the party some venues require reservations several weeks in advance especially during busy months like during summer.

Rentals: This also applies to rentals, like bounce houses or people you hire to come to your home. We have done a bounce house rental for the past 3 years at our home because that is what my son has always asked for. I learned the hard way the first year if you do not book the one you want far enough in advance you won’t get it. Yes, we are doing one again this year and yes it’s already booked.

Party Favors/Décor: If you are like me I really like making a lot of the party décor myself, I find the party stores have less and less that really stand out. So if you are planning some do it yourself items for the big party again you need to give yourself plenty of time to work on them. This will also help so you are not spending hours and hours a day working on them. The worst thing is to be up all night the day before stressed trying to finish.

Food/Cake: Order these at least 2 weeks before your party to ensure they are able to accommodate what you are requesting. Depending on the caterer they may only needs to few days notice but the more notice the better so you are their priority.

Invitations: You will need to give 2 weeks notice when sending invites (yea I know who does this right everyone sends texts or Facebook) I still like sending a mailed invitations its more personal plus I usually send an additional Facebook invite. Two weeks is a good timeframe because it gives your attendees enough notice to plan for it. Any sooner they might forget and any later they may already have plans.

Those are just a few of my tips for having successful birthday party or any party for that matter. It’s all about the planning and doing it in advance so you minimize your stress along with any disappointments of getting the perfect items for your party.

More post to come as I start to create Jurassic World for my sons birthday, my husband has no idea what he is in for, hehe.

Sincerely,

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Common misconceptions when you have boys

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Since the day I found out I was having a boy, I cannot count how many times I have been told “Be glad you have all boys they are so much easier than girls”. Yes, I had my stepson who was 7 when I came along so I didn’t get to go through all the baby and toddler phases with him. I kept thinking even from what I have experienced with my stepson it did not seem like boys were easier than girls.

Now with my son going to turn 6 in a few months and my other son is now 17 years old, yea I still don’t get what all those crazy people where talking about. Granted I don’t have a girl but I grew up in a house of mostly girls and most of my cousins I spent my  childhood with were girls. So I feel pretty educated in the drama of girls and how we work. And the fact that I am a pretty girly girl and high maintenance that stuff would not bother me.

So don’t get me wrong I would not trade my boys for anything they are the best but they are not these simple creatures everyone states they are. Obviously not all children are the same but this has been my experience and in talking with friends who also have boys we laugh about the misconceptions.

Things you did not realize when raising a boy:

-Boys wine just as much as girls, there are days when I want to run away there is so much wining in my house.

-Boys like playing dress up also, yes it may just be with super hero costumes but my son could give any girl a run for their money when it comes to playing dress up with his costumes.

-Boys change their clothes as many times a day as girls. Most people say boys don’t care what they wear or look like well not in my house. I remember when my stepson was about 8 or 9 and we were getting ready to go somewhere and he broke down crying because he thought his pants made him look fat. I was dumb founded that boys get upset over these things too? Now the 5 yr old, heaven help me. He changes his clothes so many times a day, he has to wear a certain outfit for playtime, for going to the store, any number of things. It has become a battle with him getting dressed because he has to pick the outfit and if he feels it doesn’t match of makes him look silly there is a complete meltdown.

-Boys like shopping for clothes, this may completely be my fault on this one. My 5 year old gets so excited to pick out new clothes and shoes and he is very particular about his style and surprisingly does a very good job.

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-Boys are very sensitive too. This applies more to my stepson, he is very sensitive and gets his feelings hurt very easily. My husband and I have to watch how we say things because he tends to get his feelings hurt. This can be exhausting sometimes since I am pretty thick skinned and so is my husband. We have to make sure he knows we are just kidding with him.

-Boys are drama, boys have meltdowns and drama just as much as girls. Whether its the teenager getting mad because we won’t let him be out all night on a school night or the 5 year old running to his room and slamming the door and opening it and re-slamming it to make sure we know he is upset with us.

So are they easier I don’t think so, I think raising a child period is challenging. So everyone who tells me boys are just so easy, I just have to laugh to myself. I am very thankful that they are good kids and very well mannered but that comes from my husband and I teaching our children the importance of that. So misconceptions and all I love my boys and would have it any other way.

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My Random Musings

Kids driving me to drink literally…

This week may drive me to brink of insanity, oh wait I think I’ve already gone insane. As those of us with kids know children will push your limits and drive you to drink literally. Some days they are precious Angels and others they are Satan.

We have 17 and 5 year old and honestly there isn’t much difference between a toddler and a teenager. They both throw tantrums, wine about everything, they don’t listen, and they push their limits.  I love both kids more than anything but I think this week my husband and I may lock ourselves away.

The week started out with our oldest running away from home. Yes, running away after an argument with his Dad. Things have come to a boiling point with the teenager because he has been telling us for months he wants to join the Marines but he has not done any of things we had asked him to do before we will support this life changing decision. Not to mention his grades have not been very good, and its due to him not turning in his assignments. So we have been pushing him to take care of things and he is upset with us saying we are making him miserable. Really? Oh teenagers they have it so hard.

The hardest part with our teen is that anytime your a little hard on him he can’t take it because his mom has always just let him do whatever he wants, so now that he has actual parents who care about his future he thinks we are the mean ones. You can check out my rant on the EX earlier in the week. It’s so frustrating to know your kids can do better and they are selling themselves short due to bad habits someone else has instilled in them.

Now the 5 year old this week has just been pushing ever limit possible, the attitude that has started to come out of this kid shocks me some days. I have been trying to get him to pick up his room for 4 days now and I am not winning. At one point I even told him I would just take all his toys away (I know not the mature thing to do, but he pushed me to that). The 5 year Old’s response ” Fine take my toys I don’t care, my papa will buy me new ones”. Damn those grandparents sometimes! I love they love to spoil but that totally backfired in my face 😦  Let me just say we are not the parents who let our kids do whatever they want or are we not crazy strict we just try to make our kids accountable and learn good manners.

We have two of the most challenging ages going on in our household right now and I may turn myself into the looney bin. I know kids are not perfect all the time and overall we are extremely lucky because they are both great kids overall but wow this week it was a little much all at once. I blame it on the full moon earlier this week, I swear everyone goes crazy that week.

Anyway I ranted now I feel better and I know you other parents out there can feel my pain, now to drink my glass of wine as my reward for making it through the week alive.

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